“Conflict is observed early in human development, it is likely to arise as soon as an infant crawler or toddler is able to pull, prod or make a bid for another’s possessions” (Chisnall, 2005).
It is not necessarily a negative thing as it is a necessary part of learning for children, allowing them the ability to negotiate rules during play and to start to realise other points of view.
“Conflict is part of the social material that enables children to begin to see things from another’s perspective and to therefore reduce their egocentric focus” (Chen, 2003). In fact, Anne Smith (1998) notes that during her research in Dunedin Early Childhood Centres she observed that there is actually relatively little physical violence between children of three or four years of age. By this stage most disputes are social in nature and children are often able to sort out solutions amongst themselves. This is a powerful skill for children to possess and so parents and teachers need to be mindful of jumping into child conflict too soon, before children have had the time to negotiate and resolve the problem themselves first.
“It is important, however to be available to the children who are not yet able to solve conflict situations for themselves as it is the frustration caused that is likely to lead to violence” (Chisnall, 2005). Both parents and teachers have an important role in observing and supporting children’s efforts in conflict resolution and being prepared to intervene in aggressive behaviour where conflict may escalate.
Aggression too appears early on in human development. “Aggression can be categorised into three main types; direct physical, (eg punching, kicking etc) direct verbal (eg name calling) and indirect, social exclusion or relational aggression (eg gossiping and spreading rumours)” Smith, Cowie, Olafsson & Liefooghe, 2002). The first expression of aggression you may notice in a young child is tantrums. These can be identified as an early outlet for conflict as they often arise in response to pressure over conformity such as eating, going to the toilet and generally behaving ‘well’.
“Sociologists and psychologists have identified a cluster of individual traits that can be linked to anti-social behaviour and that all revolve around poor self-control. Among the traits that have been highlighted are impulsivity, poor ability to delay gratification, poor ability to modulate intense negative emotions and the frequency that intense negative emotions are experienced. These traits can begin to be identified in children as early as two years of age” (Shanker, 2011).
When a child uses any form of aggression to resolve conflict, the key factor to a continuance of the behaviour seems to be whether they receive attention or another reward for their actions. Consistency of response is vitally important. Intermittent attention appears to provide a stronger conditioning towards the use of aggressive behaviour. This may happen where adults give mixed messages in their responses to aggression, for example giving a harsh reprimand or threat of physical consequence one minute and failing to follow through when the behaviour continues. Permissive parenting is associated with poor impulse control and increased aggression in children. However, harsh parenting (the total opposite) is a significant predictor of problems with aggression. When there is no intervention in teasing and bullying amongst children in early childhood, they are likely to see this as acceptable behaviour and often children that have been bullied then go on to be bullies themselves.
This points us towards the key role parents and teachers play in alleviating frustration that can lead to negative behaviour. In an Early Childhood Centre setting you will often hear phrases such as “Use your words to tell … you don’t like what they are doing” or “It’s not ok to hit … it will hurt them”. These can serve as reminders for children who have the skills of peaceful conflict resolution but for those who do not yet have these skills, more direct means are required. Children need to know how to negotiate their way into and during play situations by having the language and ability to offer new ideas or resources. Role playing conflict situations with young children can help to give them the tools needed for peaceful conflict resolution, avoiding aggression.
References:
Chen, D. (2203). “Preventing Violence by Promoting the Development of Competent Conflict Resolution Skills: Exploring the roles and responsibilities”, Early Childhood Education Journal 30.
Chisnall, Nicky. (2005). “Resolving Conflict and Aggression in Childhood” Junior Horizons Vol 8, No 5.
Shanker, Dr Stuart G. (2011) “Self-Regulation & the transformation of aggression” The Space Magazine Issue no. 24 Childspace
Smith, A. (1998). “Understanding Children’s Development” Bridget William Books.
Smith, P., Cowie, H., Olafsson, R. & Liefooghe, A. (2002). “Definitions of Bullying: A Comparison of Terms Used and Age and Gender Differences” Child Development Vol 73, No. 4.
Interested in learning more about this topic? Check out our course – Resolving Conflict and Aggression – via the Online Learning Hub.